Wilson Hung’s Blog

By Wilson Hung on June 16, 2009

Hsinchu American School students cringe at just the mention of finals. Now they are a week away.

For 9^th graders, the biology final falls upon a Tuesday, the math final upon a Wednesday, and the History final falls upon a Thursday. Mr. Murn’s Creative Writing final remains undecided, but students think it will probably be extremely easy compared to the other treacherous tests. Mr. Murn however, has another torture method under his disposal: the English final. The English final is not an actual test, unlike the other finals upcoming: Instead, the English final is disguised as a seven page (minimum) essay, complete with footnotes and a bibliography. The English final is due on the Friday before finals week begin (June 22), to relieve pressure during finals week, according to Mr. Murn. On the progress of the essays, two anonymous students report three pages complete, while two others report more than six pages. Judging from the wide range, it is expected for most students to be extremely sleepy Friday morning because of last minute completion of the essay the night before.

However, the English final is not the only thing terrifying students. Mr. Porter’s infamous History exams for the 9^th graders are beeping on the radar. These tests have the fad of lasting well past the two periods (80 minutes) that are supplied, and usually end up taking the whole day, meaning secondary subjects such as Music, and the students break times, are consumed for the completion. However, students rant about the test, knowing that no person has actually completed Mr. Porter’s exams despite the extra time given. Mr. Porter joyfully reports with utmost confidence that “there will be less than a thousand multiple choice questions.” Our local interpreter and student of Mr. Porter’s history class, Max Tseng, says it should be near three hundred. Of course, this doesn’t contain the prompts that Mr. Porter loves to give test takers.

Stay tuned for screams of frustration from your loyal Hsinchu American School students while they tear their hair out during finals week.

Sample Writing #2:

Wearing Hats in School

In the current year of 2050, hats have been implemented into school and truthfully, most aspects of daily life. Why are hats so important? This question is obvious for any living Utopian: They preserve the freedoms and give us luxuries. How else will robots identify us in hallways and find intruders? How else will we communicate with someone else five feet away? Hats are essential in daily life activities.

You must be nodding your head in agreement or scoffing at this as obvious. The catch is this: Almost forty years ago, hats were not widely worn or as functional as they are today. The obsolete schools in those times relied on voice sound waves to travel five feet instead of using simple wireless signals so they could speak softly and not interrupt others. Instead of robots ensuring a student’s safety, the schools back then relied on hallway patrols, corrupt human beings making sure that their friends got to class before they were late, and making sure their nemesis always was late. What is late, you ask? Late was a thing of the past, usually used for when a student was tardy or not in class on time. This was because none other than their obsolete technology that did not let their hats teleport them into class, because of their obsolete technology not having a clock on the side of their helmet to remind them that class was starting in five seconds, and that they would automatically teleport into their seats in 4.93 seconds. Hats were even prohibited from school, the authorities claiming that hats actually concealed a person’s identity! How could we identify someone if hats were removed? The past is shrouded with illogical decisions, and hats are only one example of them.

Sample Writing #1

Later that morning…

The school grounds were its usual raucous and chaotic self, booming with student’s shrieks and chattering voices, but it was not just your usual school day. It was the first day of school back from a long vacation, one of which, in Christopher White’s opinion, lasted way too short a time.

“I. Can’t. Believe. It.” moaned Christopher, his head raised to the heavens and his eyes bleary from the lack of sleep. “Why is everybody so happy? Don’t they realize this is the beginning of another two months worth of jail time before the summer vacation? Why are they actually HAPPY?”

“Because you’re a lazy bum,” Ian replied as he arrived and came to Christopher’s side.

“Oh, shut up, Ian. You know I’m usually a morning person…”

“In fact, it’s quite the contrary,” he coolly replied.

Christopher scowled as the morning bell rang, signaling the students to file into their assigned homerooms. Ian and Christopher calmly headed to their homeroom, 122.

“What the,” spluttered Christopher as he turned the corner, as a small kid barreled straight into him, with a frantic “late-look” on his face.

He didn’t have time to say anymore, and he wasn’t even sure what he’d say if he did, because the kid apologized hurriedly, and shot away like a rocket before he could even get a good look at him.

“Kid’s these days…” muttered Christopher darkly staring after the retreating figure of Ilian.

Ian grinned, and opened his mouth to make a comment, but before he could, Christopher cut him off, the words coming out almost as a natural reflex now.

“Shut up.”

Later that morning, and a period of boredom later, Christopher stumbled through the wooden slide-doors of the Kendo practice room, and was immediately hit by the sounds of spiritedly yelling kids who had arrived ahead of time, undoubtedly veterans by the looks of them.

He sighed, and strode up to the teacher.

“You’re natural boy!” the coach called excitedly after his tenth victory in a row, “I’ve never seen anything like this… first time too!”

Christopher grinned reluctantly and took off his helmet, holding it under his left arm. He had lost once, just once, since he had stepped into the classroom, and that had been a training round.

The doors of the matted room filled with collapsed and sweating students slid open at that moment, and another kid stepped through.

“Being late is the most recent trend, huh?” Christopher said when he saw the person.

The late person, by looks a veteran, glanced around. “A first timer being all the others?”

“It’s the most amazing thing ever!” the coach exclaimed with glee. “Care for a match?”

The veteran donned his helmet after a long period of silence. “Alright,” he said finally.

Rubik’s Cubes™ is an company that has garnered the hate of teachers schoolwide in HAS. To provide a more enlightened view on possible educational tools, no topic would be better for teachers (to cut us some slack) than to research about the benefits of Rubik’s cubes. It’s for your own possible gain of knowledge…and of course, the priceless (Mastercard ©) scowl on your face when you step up to the podium.

A speech on Rubik’s cubes would be benefiting to your understanding on why loners find it so appealing. Also, in the process when gathering information for your speech, it would also be possible that you would become knowledgeable of some of the techniques used to solve the cube, and hopefully become addicted so you would give us some Rubik’s cube free time everyday for 5 minutes at the end of class.

Another benefit on giving a speech on Rubik’s cubes would be to improve your relationship with your students. Once you have a more understanding view on Rubik’s cubes through your research, your bond with students that embrace them will improve drastically. No longer will you be tempted to throw students along with their cubes off the roof, but maybe you would even have the temptation to play a Rubik’s cube while lecturing.

By giving a speech on Rubik’s cubes, you would also have the possibility, if you find your hate even greater in amount, to denounce it and bring fear in front of your students. Despite of the possibility of being labeled a heretic and being burned, you will possibility instill an amount of fear so great that supporters of the Rubik’s cube will fade away, leaving a haven for teachers who harbor hate towards the miracle tool.

If there was any one trait to describe me, many would use, well, pretty negative traits that would make me sad. Teachers, however, would call me a lazy student, procrastinating almost all the time, which I agree wholeheartedly. All of my entertainment requires the least energy possible: using the computer, playing video games with my cousin, going to the pool, and watching movies. My daily activities require minimal energy as well: sitting in class, taking a shower, brushing my teeth, and, the only one that I really enjoy, sleep. Now, I won’t go into specifics on how I procrastinate, since that would create a giant repercussion from not only educators, but my parents, and this short paragraph itself is an example of such. Wilson Hung procrastinates.